You know that ray of sunshine when all seems *good* in life, for just. one. moment. When you're kids are laughing and learning to work together to decorate a home-made Minecraft cake, when you're able to laugh about the lopsided mess instead of nag at them for being normal, sticky, sloppy kids. When the loud boundary-less 2nd grade friends arrive and you feel a solidarity of the matriarch of this home that it's taken you so long to grow into.
When you choose the loyal action even when it's shakingly hard.
When he arrives home and you start to feel that familiar tense knot grow again - is he upset that they were playing in his shop.... he thinks this party is going too long... he thinks I caused unnecessary work for myself... he probably dislikes the gluten-free pizza and carrot cake that my son chose and made and won't react to...he hates these birthday streamers in his way....
BUT
This time you breathe, you release, you let go of someone in their own mess, their own hinderances to freedom and joy. You embrace the truth that his peace and joy is not your fault or your responsibility. You are a separate person.
Not sure how two become one equals two individual whole healthy people in a non-co-dependent marital covenant works together. But somehow, it must.
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